when we arrive at eternity's gates..
I love this song by phil wickyy poo.. your beautiful.. when death is just a memory and pain is no more.... It's strange to be excited to die. But Crazy Love by Francis Chan is awakening my spirit to love God and respect Him and use everything He has given me. :) Just following where He leads me even if there isn't a path in sight... I'll make one... Love God with all your heart and soul and mind then everything else will play out... Its actually pretty simple. I'm enjoying every second I have rather than living for the next high point, event, trip, or love...
I'm so proud of my little brother. He played in big church tonight and ROCKED it. He is such a man of God and handsome and eager to love others. precious.
God has been answering alot of my prayers specifically. its so crazy! and I have been asking Him whether or not I should go to Haiti to help in the medical area with my church. we will see!
Here we gooooo! another crazy week to love. :) amen!
new hope
I found myself waking up this morning (at 10) 'feeling' lonely and hopeless. Sounds depressing right? haha. So I hopped out of bed and tried to fix it. Like I try to fix everything. I cleaned, made appointments, called my people, you know the usual... then I ran a couple errands for birthday presents! The thrift store is SUCH a hot spot sometimes. I hit hard today and it was a total of 5.50 :) That was the first accomplishment that made me 'feel' better. Then I decided that the grumbling in my stomach should be comforted with the never failing subway, eat fresh. I grabbed my 5 dollar foot long from the infamously high subway workers and headed towards the boats with the very original idea to eat at shelter island. The small rays of sun that fought through the crisp air reminded me of God's spectacular creation. Crazy love is very intense and has stirred up my spirit. Overwhelmed by my epic failure, I have been feeling broken. As in humbly broken rather than snapped in half broken. Its interesting and I am learning so much right now. My theory of not taking anything seriously works, but as Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says, there is a time for everything... I basically don't know anything right now except that I have an open, vulnerable heart for God! Besides that I am so stoked on school (ICU rotation wasssup)! and nervous.. Well, I am going to bed knowing that I wake up with a purpose, with goals in mind and with a listening soul to what the holy spirit has for me :) I want His will, whatever it is. Goodnight.
what was i thinking
It is interesting to think about what i used to think about. and how i used to think. and who i thought was attractive or what characteristics i found attractive in men... hmm. it makes me smile. But I think too much. But for the past couple weeks I've been focusing on what matters most and my futura con mi familia y amigas.
God is magical and has protected me. Right now i am excited to see what God has planned for my career and where my life goes. His will is my success. He gives me alot of peace that I honestly have never felt before! My love for Him can be demonstrated through the love I show to others even on bad days, or when I am angry/hurt. I feel it. The struggle to choose. But that also proves the existence in mi heart!
But overall, laughing and not taking anything too seriously helps everything. haha.
I am off to a cabin with girls this week and I am excited to see snow!! :) Goodnight.
